Mental Resistance Training: In Progress

I'm going to begin with a few confessions:

I have started an exercise routine and quit before it became routine.

I have began learning a new skill and given up within just a few days... and a few hours.

I have considered making positive changes in my life and never even started the process.

Why?

The biggest obstacle is often not the task. 

Most of the time it is myself; my internal resistance to change - a self-sabotaging comfort-zone.

So how do I get past this obstacle? Or rather, how do I knock it down and stomp on it? 

There is so much information available on the subject that it's all too easy to get caught up on the details. In fact after reading about everything involved in setting perfect goals and trying to implement the methods I've just about lost my drive to make the change. I mean if just setting the goal is that much work I can't imagine how much effort this task is going to require. So here's my personal technique and philosophy...

I used to call it "work in progress" but "work" has such an awful association that it's just "in progress" now.

The idea behind my "in progress" philosophy is breaking free of the need for completion. When it comes to personal development I believe in progress during the process and never necessarily a "finished product." Striving for a deadline or completion date just adds unnecessary pressure and often yields rushed results, if any results at all.

These are my instructions to myself. You may use them, adjust them, laugh at them or forget them at your leisure...

Writing goals - in progress. 

You know what? You're not writing a legally binding document. You're not writing the constitution. You're not writing professional copyright. It's just a goal. Write it in crayon on a napkin (don't lose the napkin). Write it in a journal, write it in calligraphy on parchment if you like but just write it down. That's all. Seriously. Don't worry about writing the perfect goal. Relax. Write, "increase daily happiness." Guess what? You're allowed to add more goals, change the goals, revise the goals, add details or scratch out goals at any time. The only reason you need to write it down is because your brain is more unorganized than your desk (and that's quite an achievement). If you feel like adding more you can write the "why" next to the goal, but don't worry about it.

Action plan - in progress.

You can't get out of the middle of a desert by standing still. You don't have to pick the fastest way out of the desert, just pick a direction and start walking. You can always revise the plan. The only commitment at this point is to yourself. You can bail out of any plan for a different and hopefully better plan at any time. Relax. You don't know how far you are from leaving the desert so you may as well enjoy the mirages. 

Defeating resistance - in progress.

Ok so you get distracted. Often. You probably even forget to look at your goals, much less accomplish the action plan. That's ok. You're in progress. Despite how it feels sometimes, you're not pushing a car uphill only to be squished the moment you stop pushing. Even once you've formed a daily habit of reviewing your goals and keeping track of your action plan you'll probably miss a few days. Relax. This isn't designed to take over your life or your free time. Have a little fun, allow yourself to laugh at some mistakes and keep moving.

Don't get caught up in the details. It's so easy to get wrapped up in writing the perfect goals, staying focused, never missing a day in my journal, being positive every second of every day, stress management... the list goes on. That's all great information but sometimes it just becomes a way to measure failure or induce guilt. It's just information. Use it if it's natural and comfortable, throw it away if it's not.

The real goal is you.

You are deserving, worthy, and valuable beyond measure.

Happy Holidays!

Hello! I didn't realize it'd been so long since my last update; this time of the year really flies by doesn't it? I am working on the next article and I hope you all have a great [insert your holiday celebration here]!

The Why > The How

Why > How
Have you ever worked for years to accomplish a specific goal only to find disappointment at its completion? I have. More than likely the disappointment was due to achieving an arbitrarily selected goal rather than our true intention. For instance, I might believe getting a better job is the answer to my problems when in actuality my intention is to have a better quality of life. If I get completely focused on getting that better job I may completely reject or ignore any and all opportunities along the way, because I'm focused on a goal of getting a better job instead of my true intention of achieving better quality of life. So in this instance quality of life is my "why" and getting a better job is "how" I believe I can accomplish my desired change.

Emotions give momentum and power
What I suggest is that we focus on why, not how. Of course it's not a bad idea to plan things out, but to get tunnel-visioned on the how can blind us to all of the millions of potential ways the universe can provide a why solution. Have you ever worked for years to accomplish a specific goal only to find satisfaction from a seemingly random, coincidental or even bizarre event? I have. The why provides an emotional charge, motivation, vision and intention. It's just so easy to get emotionally attached to the how because it's tangible, measurable, definable. Yeah, all the things they tell you are important for goals. Well they are important, just don't get emotionally attached to a goal! Selecting good goals is important but not as important as remembering what motivated you to make a change in the first place! Emotions give us momentum and power, don't lose it!

Use the wisdom of a 5 year-old
Why is it so important to focus on intentions instead of goals? Having an emotionally charged focus on intention is not only powerful but allows for dynamic goals! That means we have our eyes open to achieving the real intention and the goal can be changed at any moment. This model for achieving change and growth in our lives not only allows for flexibility but also encourages a greater understanding of what really inspires the change. That's the fun part... using the wisdom of a 5 year-old! In my experience, answering "why?" around 7 times will uncover your intention. Give it a try! I made a quick example:

Start with the goal: I want a better job

1. Why? I want more money and I want to work better hours


2. Why? I want to pay off debt and I'm sick of working weekends


3. Why? I'm tired of collectors calling me and I want the same days off as my friends


4. Why? I want to stop worrying about money and I want more time with friends


5. Why? Financial peace of mind and a better social life


6. Why? I want to smile more, laugh more, and feel grateful more

The bottom line...
In the above example only 6 steps did the trick but you could add a seventh that summarized as "a better quality of life." What it all really boils down to is having an open mind to really finding a solution to your desire and not getting caught up in just one possibility. Also the emotional charge of focusing on why is motivational and will empower us to accomplish more, faster and better than if we simply follow steps outlined in the how alone.

Positive Thought: The Stages of Power

There has always been an interest in the power of the mind and, specifically, the effect of it's polarity. My goal in writing this article is to offer an explanation without any attachment to spirituality or religion as my understanding doesn't require that you subscribe to any particular system of beliefs.

I think it's important to clarify that I don't believe positive thinking removes all obligation of taking action simply because the action step (no matter how seemingly insignificant the action may seem) is the step that solidifies the thought. In other words, your thoughts can also be called intentions and our actions/decisions/choices can be called beliefs in action.

Lets outline the steps involved in solving any problem or coming up with a desired event. Unconscious steps will be lettered and conscious steps numbered.

"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty."
-Winston Churchill

a. "See" Possible Outcomes - It is important to note that this step is often overlooked. This is where a negative mind will filter out goals that current beliefs deem impossible and the goal is ruled out before getting to step 1. Therefore, the ultimate outcome is never even attempted.

1. Choose Outcome - According to the results in step a, the goal is selected.

b. Creative Inspiration - It is possible, before the rational/logical mind takes the reins, to allow yourself the luxury of inspired action. Instead of trying to figure out how according to what the logical mind is capable of focusing on you simply act on any impulses or inspiration that pops into your head. The negative mind will either be too focused on "the problem" to notice this step or just outright ignore it.

2. Plan - Implementing or ignoring anything from step b, the small details that require completion first and overall process are defined.

c. Visualize - Yes we do. Even if it only takes a fraction of a second. We "see" it or we don't. We believe it or we don't. This is where the negative mind, more often than not, has already chosen failure. That's right, before we even take the action step our mind has sabotaged our plans.

3. Action - Despite the feelings that arose in step c, the majority of the time we proceed to the action step. It sounds crazy but we do it all the time. We complete the process whether we believe it will work or not.

d. Confirmation - This is where we confirm our beliefs, limitations, and attitude. The negative mind says, "See I told you we were screwed!" and the positive minds says, "I knew it would work! It was even easier than I expected!"

4. Review - We followed the plan, did it work?

"The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible."
-Unknown

Ok so what's the catch? Will you always succeed if you're positive and always fail if you're negative? No. It depends entirely on the limitations and beliefs specific to each scenario. The difference is the positive mind has more freedom, more opportunities and most importantly - more fun. The negative mind keeps building walls of limitations and failure until it can't even see the way out.

The good news is that we have a choice. The bad news is that we have habits. In an effort to spare us from having to consciously control every aspect of our lives our unconscious mind provides us with an autopilot. The autopilot gets you to and from work, brushes your teeth in the same order, gets you dressed, and unfortunately - keeps you positive or negative.

If you desire a change in mental polarity you must realize that you must make a conscious effort to switch habits. Be gentle with your mind, it was only doing what it was made to do. Your awareness of your thoughts will grow with your efforts to focus on them and change them and, eventually, your autopilot will be positive.